/slash 2016 – Day 10: The Red Turtle (La tortue rouge)

Posted on November 11, 2016 by cornholio1980

the-red-turtleThe Red Turtle
Japan | France | Belgium 2016
Written by Michael Dudok de Wit & Pascale Ferran
Directed by Michael Dudok de Wit
Watched on 01.10.2016

As with most /slash-movies, I didn’t really know what this was about. I only knew the title, that it was hand-drawn 2D-animation, the first international production of Studio Ghibli, and without any dialogue. Because of that, I expected some sort of animated nature documentary about the travels of a small, young red turtle, and a movie that’s very much grounded in reality. Instead, “The Red Turtle” turned out to be a beautiful fairy tale that should appeal to audiences of all ages.

I love classic 2D animation, and hope that despite the popularity of 3D-animation, said art form will never die out. “The Red Turtle”, like all Studio Ghibli productions, again is a plea for this particular style, giving us some of the most beautiful images that I’ve seen all year. Absolutely stunning and wonderful. I also liked the story, even though going in expecting something totally different, it took me a while to get used to it. After the screening, I jokingly said that it probably was the most beautiful movie about sodomy ever produced, but in good earnest, it really is a nice, touching love story – albeit a mythical one. I was also really surprised how well it worked without any dialogue. Granted, towards the end, it felt a little forced, if not silly, that they didn’t talk to each other at all, but I didn’t miss the talking, and the fact that it’s without any dialogue makes it easily accessible all around the world, without any need for translation – an approach that I can definitely applaud. It was also very entertaining, and occasionally quite funny (especially thanks to the crabs, who turned out to be my personal highlight of the movie). However, I’m not exactly sure I liked the ending (even though I can understand why they did it). And despite the fact that it was very entertaining, it only managed to affect me emotionally towards the end. That might sound like a weird complaint, since it’s still better than not moving me at all. But there had already been a couple of would-be touching scenes before which didn’t quite affect me the way they probably were supposed to. Nevertheless, “The Red Turtle” tells a sweet, timeless and universal story in stunningly beautiful images, and thus should not be missed.
8/10


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/slash 2016 – Day 9: The Priests (Geomeun sajedeul)

Posted on November 9, 2016 by cornholio1980

the-priestsThe Priests
South Korea 2015
Written by Jae-hyun Jang
Directed by Jae-hyun Jang
Watched on 04.10.2016

I’m very glad that I skipped this one in the cinema and watched the screener instead, since I’m pretty sure that if I had watched this in the theatre, at 2:45 a.m. in the morning, I definitely would have fallen asleep. It’s not that it’s an especially bad movie, but for much of its running time, it’s a rather dull one.

Granted, I’m not the biggest fan of Christian and/or exorcism-themed horror movies, which might definitely play a part in my assessment of it. In “The Priests” they once again commit the cardinal error of claiming that the devil, demons etc. are responsible for all the evil in the world. Sorry, but I do believe that we humans already do a rather good job at it; we don’t need evil spirits for it. And blaming it all on them and thus saying that we humans would be pretty much impeccable without their influence is just vomit-inducing. I might be able to accept the concept of demonic possession within the context of a religious themed horror movie – but don’t ask me to accept that all humans are inherently good, if there weren’t all those evil demons around who fuck with us. I also had to laugh at the DHL-scene. They’re actually delivering on time, and help to save the world? What kind of fantasy is this? Don’t we all know that DHL is the epitome of evil? Seriously, though, the first hour or so is just incredibly dull. Nothing much happens, there’s no tension, and while they at least introduce the main characters, I didn’t get the feeling that it paid off later on. That said, the movie at least has one really good (prolonged) scene, which is the exorcism. That was quite well done. Unfortunately, it was followed by a showdown which felt totally unnecessary. Everything about the pig and the deadline was supposed to be soooo tense and dramatic, but felt boring at best, and unintentionally funny at worst. They simply tried way too hard to make it gripping. In my opinion, it would have been better to skip the pig-stuff and end with the exorcism. And I also would have preferred a different (darker) outcome to this story. Then again, I’ve seen worse, and if you’re into exorcism-themed movies, chances are you’ll like it more than I did. Overall, though, I’d say you don’t miss much if you skip it.
3/10


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/slash 2016 – Day 9: Don’t Kill It

Posted on November 8, 2016 by cornholio1980

dont-kill-itDon’t Kill It
USA 2016
Written by Dan Berk & Robert Olsen
Directed by Mike Mendez
Watched on 01.10.2016

“Don’t Kill It” was a lot of fun. Silly, trashy, violent, and very entertaining, it’s exactly what I hoped for after the torturous, insufferable “Greasy Strangler”. It offered a couple of really funny moments (like the hilarious bit where the police tries to drag Jebediah out of the Sheriff’s office, while he goes on and on with his monologue), cool scenes and great one-liners, and also features a Dolph Lundgren in top form. It seems like he did have a great time shooting it, and the movie definitely profits from his engaged performance.

I also really liked the basic idea behind the movie, which makes for an interesting threat. How do you defeat a demon and defend against the people who are possessed by it if you’re not allowed to kill his hosts, as killing them makes the demon take over the killer’s body? (Hence the title.) That was a great and fascinating idea. I also liked that this time (and in contrast to his previous feature, “Big Ass Spider!”, which was PG-13) Mike Mendez doesn’t shy away from blood and gore (which, in my opinion, is an essential part of trashy B-movies like this – and one of the main reasons why, despite its great concept and a couple of hilarious scenes, the “Sharknado”-movies never really reached their full potential). The scene in the church was especially gory, and arguably the highlight of the movie. Everything that came afterwards, while still entertaining, didn’t reach quite the same heights. Also, the story isn’t particularly sophisticated, the acting so-so, and the characters, apart from Jebediah (who was great, not least thanks to Lundgren), rather bland, uninteresting and clichéd. Still, it was very entertaining, with a neat concept, many hilarious moments, and Dolph Lundgren in probably his best role to date.

Overall, “Don’t Kill it” is a good bad movie. It knows exactly what it wants to be, and doesn’t pretend to be anything else than trashy B-horror-fun – something it excels in.
7/10


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/slash 2016 – Day 9: The Greasy Strangler

Posted on November 7, 2016 by cornholio1980

the-greasy-stranglerThe Greasy Strangler
USA 2016
Written by Toby Harvard & Jim Hosking
Directed by Jim Hosking
Watched on 30.09.2016

Mickey Keating can rejoice: His “Pod” is no longer the worst movie that I’ve ever seen at a /slash film festival. As of now, this “honor” (?) belongs to Jim Hosking’s “The Greasy Strangler” – the second movie after “Clever & Smart” (which, many years back, I watched at home, and turned off after 70 minutes) to get a zero rating from me. I have never been more tempted to actually leave a cinema screening (something that I’ve never done in my entire life – yet). Instead, I endured it until the end – but even my slightest hope that it would improve and offer at least one or two rudimentarily good moments was ultimately crushed.

As I’ve mentioned in a previous review, I usually have a “three strikes”-policy when it comes to (new) directors. However, in this case, Jim Hosking’s sensibilities seem to be so far removed from mine, that I really don’t see the point in giving him another chance. Granted, humor is extremely subjective; probably no other genre is more divisive than comedy. So it’s entirely possible that you, dear reader, will laugh your ass off. But for me, “The Greasy Strangler” was almost insufferable. The first couple of minutes were already bad enough, and had I watched this at home, I probably would have turned it off very early on, since right from the start I feared that this just wouldn’t be my thing at all. And over the course of the movie, Jim Hosking time and again proved me right. Be it the unbearable catch phrase “bullshit artist”, the fact that they wear women’s clothing for no apparent reason other than the director thinking that its funny (no, it’s not), the repetitive music, the terrible (and often times prolonged and repeated ad infinitum) “gags”, the misogynistic subtext which increasingly turns into text, as well as the terrible, nonsensical ending, “The Greasy Strangler” was true torture for me to sit through (I swear, if you’d tie me to a chair “Clockwork Orange”-style and show me “The Greasy Strangler”, I’d betray even my dearest friends in a heartbeat). Absolutely nothing about this movie worked for me. Not one fucking thing. IHad I tried to make this movie funny or at least bearable with the use of alcohol, I would have drunk myself to death, and would now write this review out of my grave (from which I would return to haunt Jim Hosking for as long as he lives).

Usually, when someone says they liked a movie that I despised, I reply with “Good for you!”. In this case however, I’m not sure I can congratulate those who actually find such a film hilarious. For me, it was puerile, worthless and completely unfunny crap, and a complete and utter waste of time and money. Watch it at your own peril.
0/10


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/slash 2016 – Day 9: The Girl with All the Gifts

Posted on November 7, 2016 by cornholio1980

the-girl-with-all-the-giftsThe Girl with All the Gifts
UK | USA 2016
Written by Mike Carey
Directed by Colm McCarthy
Watched on 30.09.2016

My first (and only) reaction in our private little WhatsApp-group after the screening of “The Girl with All the Gifts” was posting the “happy Picard”-meme, since that’s exactly how I felt. Granted, post-apocalyptic and/or dystopian movies like that are exactly my kind of thing, so you could say that I was predisposed to liking it. Nevertheless, it was the first movie at this year’s /slash filmfestival to really – and fully – enthrall me.

I usually don’t go that much into the story of the movies that I review for this blog anyway, but in this case, I consciously make it a point not to do so. I went into the movie completely blank, and one of the joys of watching it is to slowly figure out what’s going on here, and to learn more about this world, its characters, and their background. Where other movies spoon-feed their audience, Mike Carey (who adapted his own novel) and Colm McCarthy trust their viewers enough to figure it out for themselves, with bits and pieces of information that they spill out over the course of the movie. Very little is spelled out directly, and if it is, it always feels organic. Without any setup or background information, we’re thrown into this story, which then gradually reveals itself to us (which, admittedly, demands some patience). I also loved the setting, as well as the story, and how it progressed. One would think that with countless movies and TV-shows that tackle zombies, there wouldn’t be any more fresh and original ideas left, but time and again, certain genre-movies – like “The Girl with All the Gifts” – prove me wrong in that regard. Granted, you’ll find bits and pieces of varied previous zombie-flicks in here (especially a heavy dose of “28 Days Later”, mostly due to the frantic hungries, the military base, and the setting in the UK), but also a lot of ideas that were quite fresh and original, at least to my knowledge.

It’s not just the story, though. TV-veteran Colm McCarthy does wonders with a surprisingly small budget, and offers a couple of awe-inspiring and hauntingly beautiful shots (like the finale). I especially loved the impression of nature slowly winning back the city (reminiscent of – among others – “I am Legend”). And as a fan of seemingly long takes, one particular moment during the hungry-attack on the base truly impressed me. The cast is also excellent. Gemma Arterton, Glenn Close, Paddy Considine and Fisayo Akinade are all great, but the most impressive performance comes from newcomer Sennia Nanua, who perfectly captures the varied – and often conflicting – sides of her character. The score by Cristobal Tapia de Veer is also great, and always finds the exact right note to enhance the emotions of a certain scene. Which brings us to its last bit strength: This zombie apocalypse doesn’t only offer some tense moments and a heavy dose of social commentary and moral ambiguity, but also pulls at our heartstrings, with quite a few emotional scenes throughout. Granted, there’s the occasional scene where our protagonists were very lucky (like in the one where they find themselves in a field of hungries, and instead of them all waking up, they are only hunted by just enough of them to make their escape possible) or rather dumb (take Kieran in the warehouse, for example), but those are insignificant and negligible trifles.

“The Girl with All the Gifts” is one of this year’s true cinematic gifts, and should not be missed by anyone even remotely interested in the genre.
9/10


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/slash 2016 – Day 9: Deep in the Wood (In fondo al bosco)

Posted on November 6, 2016 by cornholio1980

deep-in-the-woodDeep in the Wood
Italy 2015
Written by Isabella Aguilar, Davide Orsini & Stefano Lodovichi
Directed by Stefano Lodovichi
Watched on 30.09.2016

I had a hard time with “Deep in the Wood”. The fact that they at least spared us a supernatural angle, which was hinted at heavily before, might redeem it at least a little bit, but in my book, that wasn’t enough to compensate for the very arduous first two-thirds, and especially the totally unnecessary twist-galore concerning the all-dominant mystery of what happened to Tommi.

The setup, actually, was great; very intense, disturbing and promising. I think there’s probably nothing worse than having your child disappear, without knowing what happened to him/her. Unfortunately, once Tommi seemingly reappeared, the movie increasingly started to fall apart for me. His parents, Manuel and Linda, by now divorced, start to fight about Tommi, his return, but also – still – about his disappearance, and whose fault it all is. Hence, the movie actually managed the impressive feat to have me dislike both of them equally, thus ending up on neither his nor her side in their endless quarrel. I also couldn’t shake the feeling that when they shot “Deep in the Wood”, they tried way too hard in all regards, even though I have a hard time giving you any specific examples. One thing that was noticeable however was the very “digital” look of the movie, something that I’m extremely sensitive about (and allergic to). Then there’s the fact that it was probably a little bit too gloomy and bleak for its own good. Yeah, I get it, the story isn’t exactly a comedy, but would it have hurt to add just a few little laughs or lighter moments? There’s a scene where one of the characters says “No one is having any fun here” – which to me summed up the experience of watching the movie perfectly. And then there’s the completely superfluous twist-galore concerning Tommi’s ultimate fate. If they had skipped some of those twists and turns, and concentrated on the – quite tragic – final revelation, “Deep in the Wood” could have been really devastating. Instead, it all just felt incredibly forced and implausible. That, ultimately, was the final nail in its coffin for me.
3/10


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/slash 2016 – Day 8: The Master Cleanse

Posted on November 6, 2016 by cornholio1980

the-master-cleanseThe Master Cleanse
Canada | USA 2016
Written by Bobby Miller
Directed by Bobby Miller
Watched on 29.09.2016

A word of warning: Even though a couple of monsters appear over the course of the movie, this is not a monster movie per se. If that’s what you expect, you’ll inevitably end up disappointed. Instead, it’s a surprisingly quiet and subdued affair that deals with our inner demons in a nice (albeit not exactly subtle) way.

Granted, the movie – and its message – are not exactly revolutionary, and in the way it externalizes and materializes our inner, darker feelings and negative emotions and tendencies, it’s rather on the nose. However, I for one liked what it had to say about these topics, that in the beginning, our darker impulses seem cute and appealing, but the more and more we feed them, the bigger, uglier and more dangerous they become – until they threaten to swallow us whole. Yes, it’s not exactly new or especially deep, but I liked it nonetheless. I was also glad that the movie avoided the cliché of the mad scientist. While the cult and their practices may seem questionable at the beginning, it turns out that they have no ulterior motives, and really only want to help people. And once the shit hits the fan, Ken and his assistant do their best to contain the damage, and to save their “patients”. That was quite refreshing. Acting-wise, it was also really nice. Johnny Galecki (aside: I don’t watch “The Big Bang Theory”, so I had no prior connection to him or his work) gives a good central performance, even though he’s ultimately a little outshined by the superb Anna Friel. Anjelica Huston is also great as the shady leader of the resort, while Oliver Platt plays uber-guru Ken Roberts as a surprisingly sweet and benign man. The creature design was also great, and I loved that they didn’t rely on CGI, but used real puppets. And in a year where so many /slash-films overstayed their welcome, it’s nice to get one which not only rolls the credits after less than 80 minutes, but also doesn’t miss the exact right moment to come to an end.

Mind you, I understand everyone who expected something else, and would have wished for a little more tension, horror, and monster action. But while it admittedly didn’t exactly blow me away, I found it to be quite interesting and entertaining.
6/10


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/slash 2016 – Day 8: In a Valley of Violence

Posted on November 6, 2016 by cornholio1980

in-a-valley-of-violenceIn a Valley of Violence
USA 2016
Written by Ti West
Directed by Ti West
Watched on 29.09.2016

“In a Valley of Violence” was this year’s surprise screening, and like “Lawless” a couple of years back, I can only assume that it was chosen mainly because of its main director, Ti West, since the /slash filmfestival has shown some of his movies in the past. However, apart from a heavy dose of violence, it didn’t really feel particularly /slash-esque.

If you want to sum up this movie in a single sentence, “John Wick goes West” would probably do the trick just fine. However, where Keanu Reeve’s recent starrer, despite all well-known elements and tropes, somehow still managed to feel fresh and original, “In a Valley of Violence” felt very generic and painted-by-numbers. It was extremely predictable, I felt a certain Tarantino-influence without it ever reaching similar heights, and parts of the movie were a bit of a drag. On the other hand, it offered a couple of nice shots and images, the dog (even though I’m not a dog person) was really cute and cool, and the acting was pretty good all around, with John Travolta a particular standout. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him as engaged as he seemed here, and at least in my book, he absolutely stole the movie. The action also was nicely shot (albeit not exactly groundbreaking), and there were a couple of nice moments and – in accordance with its title – some brutal scenes. However, even though I’m a fan of the genre, “In a Valley of Violence” never really managed to set my world on fire. It was decent and entertaining enough, but also very run-of-the-mill, and thus nothing that’ll stick in my mind for long, or that I feel the need to revisit anytime soon.
5/10


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/slash 2016 – Day 8: She’s Allergic to Cats

Posted on November 5, 2016 by cornholio1980

shes-allergic-to-catsShe’s Allergic to Cats
USA 2016
Written by Michael Reich
Directed by Michael Reich
Watched on 29.09.2016

I’m afraid “She’s Allergic to Cats” was a little bit too experimental and weird for me. I had an especially hard time with Mike’s self-made videos, which I found insufferable. The look of the movie is also extremely cheap. And let’s not forget all those dog-grooming scenes which went on far too long (I swear, if you take all of them out, you probably end up with a running time of less than an hour). I also didn’t care all that much about the main character, who did nothing but complain all the time, instead of actually going ahead and trying to change some of the things he wasn’t too happy about – well, apart from getting a cat, of course. Overall, I had a really hard time with the first half hour of the movie. It improves once the date comes around. First of all: Casting Sonja Kinski, daughter of Nastassja Kinski, in a movie in which a cat plays such a major role was absolute genius. She also turns out to be very talented, and gives by far the strongest performance of the entire movie. As soon as she gets a bigger role, the movie comes to life, at least to some extent, and overall, the scenes of the date weren’t all too bad. The finale, however, suffers from the fact that Mike inexplicably fails to mention that he owns a cat (after Cora already told him that she hates them), and also was too loud, hysteric and weird for me. Since it’s such a strange and peculiar movie, I wouldn’t discourage anyone from seeing it, because there’s really no saying if you’re going to like it before you check it out for yourself. But personally, I’m afraid that despite a couple of nice moments, as well as the inspired casting of Sonja Kinski, I didn’t have much use for it.
3/10


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/slash 2016 – Day 7: Carnage Park

Posted on November 4, 2016 by cornholio1980

carnage-parkCarnage Park
USA 2016
Written by Mickey Keating
Directed by Mickey Keating
Watched on 28.09.2016

When it comes to directors, be it up-and-coming ones, or long-established ones that I discover rather late, I have a “three strikes”-policy. Which means that I usually give them three chances to convince me. If they fail me with all of those and show no real potential or improvement, the only way I’ll give said director another chance would be extremely favorable reviews of critics that I trust, and/or overwhelming word-of-mouth. One recent director who profited from this rule was Denis Villeneuve. I didn’t much care for “Prisoners” (even though his direction was the least of its problems) and had no use at all for “Enemy”. But “Sicario” was awesome, and “Arrival” seemed like a huge thank you note from him to me, since it was right up my alley. However, the three strikes-rule unfortunately doesn’t always pay off. Mickey Keating is living proof of that.

I hated “Pod”, but decided to give him two more chances with “Darling” and now “Carnage Park”. Granted, he again showed some minor improvement. Visually, the movie looks very nice (even though this seems to be mostly due to digital color grading in post-production), and Ashley Bell proves to be a good substitute for Lauren Ashley Carter not only in name, but also with her performance (although I found her to be way more impressive in the underrated “The Day”). Apart from that, however, it was his third movie that couldn’t convince me at all. Despite a short running time, it felt way too long. As a short film – and with a different director – it could have worked, but as it is, there (once again, not unlike “Pod” and especially “Darling”) simply isn’t enough story to fill not-even-quite-90 minutes. A problem that in this case might have even been apparent for Keating himself, since he includes a couple of flashbacks which felt totally unnecessary, and seemed to be only there to stretch the running time. There also were a couple of very clichéd and predictable moments, some stupid decisions and actions by the protagonists, and – worst of all – the typical, terrible eye- and ear-torture which for me became synonymous with the name “Mickey Keating”. Strike three – you’re out.
2/10


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