Yesterday in the late evening, I returned to my notebook in order to write my scheduled Viennale review of the day, for Sean Baker’s vibrant “Tangerine”. I was mostly finished when I decided to take a minute and check my Twitter and Facebook – and saw that was happening in France. Since posting a review during this kind of crisis, especially one about a film that is so full of life, would have felt rather cynical to me, I spontaneously decided to refrain from posting it. After checking for further news for roughly an hour, watching the reports on news channels etc., I simply couldn’t take it anymore, and went to bed.

Every single senseless loss of life in the name of terrorism is a tragic waste that makes me furious, and the fact that this is taking place here in Europe – right next door, if you will – definitely makes this one hit especially hard for me (even though, arguably, it shouldn’t). This attack already had and will continue to have ramifications, as much as we might hate that, since it’s giving the terrorists exactly what they want. Which, stupid as it may sound, is also the reason why once I lay down, a voice inside me said that I probably shouldn’t have refrained from posting my review after all, since by doing so and thus changing my original plans, in a way, I gave in to them. Which is why by this evening, I will resume my reviews as planned.

Please note, for now and for the future, that when I continue with my blog as if nothing happened, even in the face of tragedy, I don’t mean any disrespect for the victims. It also doesn’t mean that I don’t care, or that I’m not affected by what’s going on. It’s simply my way of dealing with it: Keeping a sense of normality, and taking a stand against such vile hatred and senseless violence by doing my best to not let myself be impressed by it, screaming “I will not change, I will not yield, and I will not bow down.” Yes, it’s stupid. And yes, it’s pathetic. And yes, continuing my blog posts will not make the world a better place for even one iota. But unfortunately, it’s also the only thing that I can think of to do my part – tiny and insignificant as it may be – in order to make a stand and to not let these fuckers win.

Et quoique nous ne possédions plus cette ardeur qui dans les jours anciens
Remuait ciel et terre; mais ce que nous sommes, nous sommes;
D’un même tempérament, de cœurs héroïques,
Affaiblis par le temps et le destin, mais intransigeant dans notre volonté
De lutter, de chercher, de trouver et de ne jamais céder.