This one cuts deep…

I’ve been a Star Trek-Fan for as long as I can remember. I grew up watching the Original Series in reruns when I was a child, and when they finally came to the TV, I also watched all the movies. Granted, Star Trek is more than Leonard Nimoy, but he still was a tremendously important part of it, and without Star Trek, I wouldn’t be the person that I am today. Star Trek was the first show that I called myself a fan of. It started my life-long fascination with Space, Science Fiction, TV-shows and Movies.

Of course, Leonard Nimoy is not the first member of the Star Trek-family that we have lost. In 1999, DeForest Kelley passed away, and in 2005, we lost James Doohan. I mourned both of them, especially Doohan, since I always had a really soft spot for Scotty (which is why as soon as I learned of his passing, I put on the great TNG-episode “Relics”). But for whatever reason, Leonard Nimoys death hits he harder than both of them.

Maybe it’s because nowadays, because of the internet, we learn of such passings in a much more immediate way. Maybe it’s because we don’t mourn alone, but thanks to Social Media, we share our grief, and mourn collectively. Maybe it’s because Spock, as much as he would hate to hear it, was very much the heart and soul of Star Trek. Maybe it’s because he was such a great character: An outsider, forever torn between his two heritages – not really feeling at home either on Earth or on Vulcan – who on the Enterprise, found a new home and a new family; thus giving hope to each and every one of us who feels different (and don’t we all, from time to time?).

I never had the pleasure of meeting Leonard Nimoy in person, and right now, I’m saddened that I never made the effort to come to a Star Trek-convention to do so. From the interviews that I read and from his tweets, he seemed like a warm, gentle, wise and thoughtful man, with an incredibly big heart. He also was a great actor, and while he starred in many roles, I first and foremost will always remember him as Mr. Spock. Despite the fact that he played a seemingly unemotional Vulcan, he always managed to let you feel his underlying emotions – and as great he was whenever he got the chance to break out of his emotional corset and set his feelings free, the moments that stuck with me the most are those where he’s trying to suppress them, to hide them from the world, but you can still very clearly see them shining through.

Many of your are probably going to watch “The Wrath of Khan” today, and while my first reflex was to do just that, I’m not sure yet if I can handle it. That death scene… wow. “I have been, and always shall be, your friend.” Or the funeral. “Of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most… human.” Those scenes already got me before, every freakin’ time that I watched it. I can’t imagine what it will be like now. Because in real life, there is no Deus Ex Machina, no Genesis planet, no Sequel where Leonard Nimoy will return from the dead. Today, the world has lost one of Science Fictions greatest icons. He will be mourned. He will be missed. But he will not be forgotten.

There’s one thing that Star Trek got wrong, though. It’s not Space that’s The Final Frontier, but rather whatever awaits us after we’ve drawn our last breath, when our heart beats one last time, and we close our eyes forever. Whatever Leonard Nimoy may find there, may his journey be gentle, peaceful, and “fascinating”.

Photo Credit Image 1: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
Photo Credit Image 2: CBS/Paramount
Photo Credit Image 3: Paramount Pictures
Photo Credit Image 4: Twitter